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This was the Kitchen Reader selection for February, chosen by Jules of Stone Soup. It's a mostly-enjoyable memoir of her history with food and the way it has shaped the narrative of her life. I haven't cooked any of the recipes that are included in the book, yet, but they look clear and straightforward; I will probably try the chana masala and some of the salads. In the narrative itself, some of her description of her marriage resonated with me, especially this: "That's how I know we're going to be all right. Because being the person I want to be feels easier when he is around." I've definitely felt that about the strongest of my relationships, and especially about [info]boxcat. I also liked the fact that she mentions poly and gay friends in a very matter-of-fact way; most food books steer away from anything unconventional. That left me all the more surprised, though, when she said about the stress of preparing for her own marriage, "Getting married is not for pansies" - an unfortunate choice of phrase to say the least, and not really consistent with her attitude elsewhere in the book. Perhaps it has different connotations in the US?

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[info]kerrypolka wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 09:28 am (UTC)
I think it's a word like "spaz", which has the same etymology in the UK and US but wildly different connotations/levels of offence. In my head it's something a seven-year-old would call another seven-year-old on the playground in a playful way, with implied gentle ribbing about weakness and lack of fortitude - nothing explicit about gender or sexuality. (West Coast US)
[info]lizw wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 02:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks, that's useful. Both examples do raise the issue of whether the etymology still matters, of course (as with various words that were originally mental-health-related, but don't carry that as a conscious implication any more.) I tend to think it does and that it's for members of the marginalised group to decide when the meaning has changed enough to be used by people outside that group, but I admit I haven't yet completely succeeded in training myself out of using the mental-health-related words.
[info]bronnyelsp wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 10:12 am (UTC)
In North America it mostly means a weakling or coward (usually of the male gender, but I suppose she's reclaiming/de-genderfy-ing it). I associate it with eg "chicken" and "wuss."
[info]kerrypolka wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 02:50 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I'd associate the North American use more with "wilting flower" than "gay man".
[info]lizw wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 02:58 pm (UTC)
But even then, isn't there an element of "flowers = feminine = BAD"?
[info]kerrypolka wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 03:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, definitely, but (to me at least) the main part of the insult is less femininity (although, again, that's certainly present) and more a lack of toughness. The contrast is to something like a blackberry bramble or a hardy weed (both of which might also have flowers); it isn't just that a pansy is a flower, it's also that pansies aren't very resilient and take a lot of looking after.
[info]bronnyelsp wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 03:42 pm (UTC)
Yeah, like a shrinking violet or wilting... what is it? Lily, daisy? Can't remember.
[info]lizw wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 02:51 pm (UTC)
Yeah, but isn't "wuss" derived from a combination of "wimp" and "pussy", so also a bit problematic? And "chicken" has a slang meaning of a young gay man, although I don't know whether that's responsible for the "coward" meaning.
[info]bronnyelsp wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 03:10 pm (UTC)
Huh. I'd never heard either of those. Or that pansy had any associations with homosexuality until I came here.
[info]adina_atl wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 04:20 pm (UTC)
I can't remember the last time I heard "pansy" used in the US for gays, if indeed I ever heard it in a non-ironic way.

As for chicken, I think that the behavior of the animal is responsible for the coward meaning--if you've ever seen a flock of chickens when something startles them, you'll see where the idea came from. (Not that it's unreasonable behavior from a prey animal, but that's another matter.) It's tastiness of the meat that created the young (under-age) gay meaning, I'm afraid.
[info]lizw wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 04:43 pm (UTC)
Which is odd, considering how bland a meat chicken is! Thanks for the information.
[info]ailbhe wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 10:48 pm (UTC)
Real chicken isn't bland!
[info]lizw wrote:
Mar. 1st, 2012 12:12 pm (UTC)
It's always seemed bland to me, even the free-range organic stuff (unlike pork, where free-range tastes like a completely different meat than the industrially-farmed kind.) Isn't that why chicken is considered invalid food in Britain? I used to like it well enough when I could still eat meat, and I eat fake chicken quite happily now, but it's the texture I like rather than the taste.
[info]oakmouse wrote:
Feb. 29th, 2012 06:39 pm (UTC)
In my parents' day, in the Northeastern US (they were born in 1921 and 1922, in New York state) "pansy" was explicitly a euphemism for a gay man, but over the years it seems to have lost the gloss of gayness and come to mean anybody weak, fearful, and incapable. "Wimp", essentially, or (from my own school days in the 1960s and 70s) "weenie".
[info]simplycooked wrote:
Mar. 1st, 2012 11:02 pm (UTC)
I also thought that Wizenberg's recipes looked easy and tasty. I found her voice very casual and honest. The chapters were so short that I managed to get through a few each time I sat down.
[info]MartinelliEats wrote:
Mar. 3rd, 2012 08:29 pm (UTC)
Great book
I also really enjoyed reading this book and have tried her banana bread with great success. I didn't think anything of her use of the word "pansy" and am sure she meant it in a lighthearted way, but it's always interesting to analyze the weight and meaning of seemingly harmless words.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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